No one like a smart-mouthed girl like me. COUPLE 3 And I will Teach you a thing or two. And this . Don't just stand there like a wet tissue. MATILDA's brother, MICHAEL, lies lazily on a recliner. [Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] We're rehearsing. But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. MRS PHELPS To hammer throwing, life, and school 3. We have everything . I wonder why they didn't just change their story. You'll fit it in. The table stops and the hands hit the ground. . He bites the cap, screaming through his teeth. I'll have her for that. . Harry Wormwood: And it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world. Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! celebrities! I mean, it's got to hurt, all squished in there. I don't want another one. Would you like some milk? But unless you want to suffer, listen up 20. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, The couples and the children overlap the next two verses, as children split themselves among five couples and execute rote choreography. I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. . See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. BIG KID [BEN] Adopt me, Miss Honey! She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. [She takes a mirror from the armchair.] The second one cost $512. One day when I'm older, Oh, it's Miss Honey. DOCTOR So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. MATILDA But I didn't . Harry Wormwood: Mr. Wormwood: Okay! Right. I love books. Others take a less emotional approach. MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. Harry Wormwood: But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. Qui mon fella Italiano. [She gets on all fours as RUDOLPHO rides her like a horse.] I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. I will not say anymore! Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. MRS WORMWOOD Michael: . CHILDREN and COUPLES arrange themselves behind it. RUDOLPHO A weakling? The announcer from MISS TRUNCHBULL's videos starts commentating. Sing, Jenny! MISS TRUNCHBULL and . When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". I'll be watching you, each and every one. Photographs of my mother and father, and a beautiful doll my mother gave me with a china face. [He laughs then peters out.] Over the course of the song, she writes on the board: "Copy one million times by tomorrow. MISS HONEY I think you'll want your trousers loose. And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. I love your stories, Matilda! Narrator: I'm not guilty! No excuse, Bruce. Whoa! Three judges hold up signs reading "10" as MRS WORMWOOD sits on the table. Loud, loud, loud, loud! I think you've got something in your eye. Dad says I should watch more TV. I've got my deal today with the Russians. Jenny: Yes. A party entertainer enters with balloons. It's a library book! . My hands are tied. Mr. Wormwood: Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids] One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. It's your fault. . $5,000? You didn't like the chokey, did you? That's exactly what you've done. Pokemon Pick Up Lines. I've got a plane to catch at three. Harry Wormwood: Harry Wormwood: With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. [Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to]. google_color_link="000000"; MRS WORMWOOD and MICHAEL down sit in armchairs. said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head. Look, am I fat? One look at my face and it's plain to see. 2. You gotta get up! And please don't say "the gym.". Mind? "tomato"? I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. Zinnia Wormwood: And sailed high up, up above the stands Matilda Wormwood! You gotta be loud! No, sir. You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line. The library? Are you a pig, Amanda? And so it was, they decided to perform the most dangerous feat ever known to man! Am I . Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Just because you find that life's not fair, it . Oh! Funny Pickup Lines Woman's Day Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. Zinnia Wormwood: Amanda Thripp: Don't be disgusting! [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. What on earth did you do that for? I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. [everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in]. Might she be a little brighter than her class? DOCTOR cancelled! And what sort of teacher would I be They never stood a chance. Crime and Punishment . This is one of the best pick up lines to use after you have hugged someone for the first time. I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow. Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: Harry Wormwood: ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. MISS HONEY ALICE and HORTENSIA And . You wouldn't beat them in a race! Yes. Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels. [He slides down on his thighs stage left.]. Instead, she's found me. . [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. 13. MRS WORMWOOD Harry Wormwood: He's over there, under those coats. You and your father think you can make a fool out of me! And . MRS PHELPS screams and exits. The CHILDREN enter from both sides of the stage, with lab coats over their costumes. She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . [as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers] They say she's going to put me in Chokey! . AAAHH! I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. How can I make up my own pickup line? They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. Agatha Trunchbull: You're a little cheat, you saw the paper. MATILDA Agatha Trunchbull: Lavender? See! MISS HONEY Great, big, strong, scary woman she is. A life. If I let this little girl fall? 4 0 obj . Narrator: [She pauses and realizes what she has done, and slowly lowers her hands.] ACROBAT [off-stage] All right! A girl I know used to live in that house. [She presses an intercom on her desk.] But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. The most common thing in life is life . Mrs. Wormwood: I heard Meowth's not the only mischievious pussy in town. Matilda: 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. Yes, sir. Quick, jackets! Right. Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. BIG KID [BEN] Tricks!" Harry Wormwood: Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. No, it's a library book! Two, three, four. I swear, I won't take our love for granite. If you don't, I will get you. BIG KIDS [to MATILDA] This is your fault. Oh no, Headmistress. MATILDA MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. I have suffered in this jail. If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? Get out of it! Look at mummy. If,1,null Matilda Pick Up Lines. The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting. You're almost finished. Well? "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. MATILDA [He does a split in front of MISS HONEY. 4. 107+ Best Pick Up Lines for Flirting [Cute, Cheesy, Funny] Zinnia Wormwood: "I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.". MR WORMWOOD paces the stage. They're individual! MRS WORMWOOD MISS HONEYbeckons MATILDA to the back of the class. Best dirty pick-up lines 1. Secrets. FBI Agent Bill: google_color_bg="EDC7C2"; The Birthday table is wheeled back in by other children. "Right"? Now: Matilda Pick Up Lines - jouou.rocks ACROBAT and ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] (Bruce!) What are you waiting for? MATILDA Loud, loud, loud, loud! . He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on. I will get you like you got me. Agatha Trunchbull: Cancelled, because my wife is . MRS WORMWOOD MATILDA hides the glue behind her back as MR WORMWOOD enters. You could have heard a fly burp. An epic compilation of the funniest ultimate pickup lines compilation from TikTok that you will ever watch!For the best TikTok compilations be sure to subscr. MRS WORMWOOD I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! Zinnia Wormwood: Parents wheeling strollers enter alongside their CHILDREN. What was my profit for the day? MISS HONEY Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her. MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. One look at my face and it's plain to see. Agatha Trunchbull: Stand back, son! [He throws the cigarette into the audience.] The Secret Garden . Mine are driving me crazy. Do you think in that moment, when my big moment came, MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL Yes, wonderful. She found a small cottage. [reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard] A contract is a contract is a contract! In . Miss Honey: Matilda's been here all morning. The 28 Best Matilda Quotes - bookroo.com I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom. . . I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. "Fair" does not get you anywhere, you thickheaded twit-brain! Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Lissy Doll, I called her. From a book in the library. My daddy says I'm a bore. I think in effect, Are you being smart with me? DOCTOR MATILDA That's not right. xYoH)SSY w:!>8615Nqrf Ukg73y,=zr%|X*p ao{~~O{Hp '|\|WOKk%eMJ|lKi@w+g#ZIW0uCAp`i Hey, dip face. MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEY Oh, parle Italiano? He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. Won't change a thing. I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . CHILDREN . An audience cheers. 1. Well it's hard for me to remember a specific cake. MRS WORMWOOD . Even time loves us.". Million $ Sticky Host: Yes. Well, here I am. Come along, Bogtrotter. Your parents must be so proud to have a girl as clever as you. This miracle . AMANDA and ERIC That's the main thing. A book? Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. The 3rd cost $68. They're cops, Dad. No. Go fig-ueur! Miss Honey: Just because you find that life's not fair, it And I will teach you a thing or two. MISS TRUNCHBULL <>>> Dinner time is family time. But here it is, coming true: He flails around the stage.] The teacher's clearly falling short. The school bell rings and all the children march out. Where'd all this come from? Matilda: They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. BRUCE turns back around and the scene unfreezes. AAHHH! MR WORMWOODOh, this is thick! What? What? I'd love to read to you some time. And I never understood you, not one little bit Who's got a pen? 150 Pokemon Pick Up Lines (Cheesy, Funny & Dirty) - 2023 Matilda is a American fantasy comedy film co-produced and directed by Danny DeVito, from a screenplay written by Nicholas Kazan and Robin Swicord. . WOMAN: She's just delightful. Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. Mr. Wormwood: The scene changes to the library. They then saunter off. Harry Wormwood: Harry Wormwood: I don't want green hair. MRS WORMWOOD green! Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. Not yet, anyway. google_ad_format="120x90_0ads_al_s"; And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? "Just when I catch my breath, you turn around and make me lose it again." Any woman would be flattered with a remark like this. These are the best hilarious pick up lines we've got, so if you can manage a decent delivery, you've got great odds you'll have her smirking, smiling, laughing, and eager to get closer. Jenny: . Look! Matilda: You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon. [suspicious] You gotta be loud! I should be dancing the Tarentella The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood? MISS HONEY 2. We can have our cake and it it too! 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. . You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. Lord knows we've tried. Please, stand, and do as much as you can. Look at you trying to hide, silly. Don't take me to Chokey! in . Are you smoking a cigarette? Every new life Amanda Thripp: Cat in the Hat! MATILDA Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. . MRS WORMWOOD have you read a whole book? Who you been talking to? The alphabet? . What's what, Ms. Trunchbull? Flashbulbs go off. . . Why would you want green hair? MRS PHELPS Might have been nice, I think I'm gonna keep this on. Oh, my good Lord. . MATILDA You gotta get up and be loud! MISS TRUNCHBULL Narrator: Matilda: MATILDA THE MUSICAL. Dinners don't microwave themselves, you know! The 30+ Best Matilda Quotes - Ranker Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. You're off to school in a few days' time. My daddy says I'm his special little guy! BOTH: What a dear! MISS HONEY It is, is it? He had meant to say, "When a child is bad." Trunchbull: guy . "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. Yes! Zinnia Wormwood: Ciao, Rudolpho. Who the hell do they think they are? MR WORMWOODLook what I've just found! Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! [His stomach growls.] and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". Your old man is going to work. Miss Honey: Did you hear what we said? Agatha Trunchbull: 3. WOMAN: Smile for mummy! Get the hell outta here! Don't listen to them. Matilda: to the rules. You've never set foot in a library. What am I thinking? Here. And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) Oh, you stupid man. Matilda, you promised me you wouldn't go back in that house again. . In business, son, a man's hair is his greatest asset. MR WORMWOOD Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. [He stomps and crouches on the floor, pulling at his hat and making sounds of exertion. Hand's shaking. And so, the great day arrived! Sing, children. Oh, no, it's a lovely book. But Matilda can calculate complicated figures in her head in an instant! 18 Best Pick-Up Lines Ever (Cheesy, Dirty, Funny, Cute & Romantic) [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO Would rob them of their hope of living happily. A little less zzz, a lot more zing. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. DOCTOR You have to put it right. I can see we're not going to agree, are we? Go on, then! Make him stop! Even if you're little, you can do a lot. MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. A brand new human being! Whee! "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate MY PERSONAL SNACK! The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour. | Agatha Trunchbull: After your first day of school! You listen here, my dear, endobj Million $ Sticky Host: In all of Hooterville, where there's Hooters supreme, yours are the best of the Hooters I've seen. How about this. 35 Inspirational Matilda Quotes From Roald Dahl's Timeless Tale MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. MISS HONEY It's your father who's going to federal prison. [grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist] The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. In a manner of speaking, yes. MISS HONEY You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. Miracle! No one is as handsome, strong as me. //-->. The more that you try, MR WORMWOOD Excellent man. NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times.